HOW DO I FORGIVE SOMEONE?

Forgiveness is very hard to do - especially in some cases.  So why do I really have to forgive someone?

The Bible says in Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV):

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, you heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins your Father will not forgive your sins.

Ouch, this is hard words - words that we don't want to hear but have to hear!   So let's just read the last part again.

But if you do not forgive men their sins your Father will not forgive your sins.

Hard words for all of us to hear!  This means:  forgive your ex husband/ wife, forgive the guy that stole from you, even forgive the person that has done unspeakable things to you as a child. Forgive your parents for mistakes they made when you were a young child.  And last but not the least: forgive yourself for mistakes you have made towards others.

Before you hit me with a stick, I just want to say:  I have been there and I had to walk this long road of forgiveness myself.  

It is not a nice road to walk at first, but a very good road to walk on later.  And the minute I knew I was getting somewhere is when I could pray for a guy that pulled the carpet from underneath me and my family, causing us severe pain, trauma and lots and lots of hate and unforgiveness.  And I was not just praying for him.  I begged God in tears to forgive him and not punish him or his children for his deeds.  That was when I had the biggest breakthrough of my life!!!

Yes, I am not in your situation and I do not know what you have been through.  I do understand that.  But the Word does not say that this and this would excuse you from the above word. I wish it could, then life would be so easy.

Unforgiveness and hatred is your worst enemy, because it steals your joy and keeps binding you to the person that you hate and do not forgive. Read this again out loud so that it can sink in: 

Unforgiveness and hatred is your worst enemy, because it steals your joy and keeps binding you to the person that you hate and do not forgive.

The person that you hate sometimes does not even know that you hate them, so it doesn't affect them at all.  They have moved on.  Maybe they have confessed their sins to God and got forgiven.  And who gets hurts the most in this process?  You - the one with the unforgiveness in your heart.  

Jesus knew that we had to forgive in order for us to get free from things that is keeping us away from serving God with everything in us.  

I know a lot of bad things has been done to you, which makes it very hard to forgive.  I have so much empathy with you and I really do not judge you.  No one knows what you are going through.  I just want to give you a little guidance  from the hard road I have travelled and try and help you to make things a little better.

HOW DO I FORGIVE SOMEONE THEIR SINS?

You have to confess before God that you hate that person, that you are bitter against them, that you have unforgiveness in your heart.  

A typical prayer could go like this:  Father, you know what  ..... did to me.  I want to confess that I hate him/her, I despise him/her, I even wish he/she was dead.  I have so much anger and bitterness against him/her.  I don't want to forgive him/her.

But...  

But then you must tell God that His Word says you must forgive.  Again a small prayer: 

 I don't want to forgive him/her Lord, but Your Word says if I do not forgive him/her his/her sins, You cannot forgive me my sins.  And if you do not forgive my sins, then I might miss heaven.  And I don't want to miss heaven.  Therefor I want to forgive him/her and I want to set him/her free in the Name of Jesus.

Repeating thoughts?  

We must remember that the devil walks around and he wants to keep us away from heaven.  He loves it when we hate someone and does not forgive them, because then we stand a chance to miss heaven.  He will target you with hatred memories and remind you of things the person did wrong.  Whenever this happens, just confess it again before God, forgive the person and set him/her free in the Name of Jesus.  If you have to do it a million times, please do it a million times!!!!  It is so worth it!!!

Forgive yourself!  

Maybe you were the one that did something wrong to someone else and hurt them very much.  If you have confessed it before God before, He has forgiven you - because His Word says so!!  

But... you have hold it against yourself for all these years. You have played God over your own life and not forgiven yourself!  Now is the time to come clean and free before God. 

Here is a prayer:  Lord, I have sinned against ....... and in the process hurt her/him (and my children).  For all these years I have hold this against myself, even though You have forgiven me already.  I want to confess that I hate myself, that I have not forgiven myself.  So... I forgive myself in the Name of Jesus and I set myself free.

Severe sins that cripples you.  

There are things that may have been done to you as a child that makes it severely difficult to forgive someone (Spiritual, emotional, physical and sexual abuse).  In cases like this, it would help you to pray the following prayer:  

Lord, you know what ...... did to me.  And it is not easy for me to forgive him/her because I have to live with the consequences of his/her deeds.  In fact, I do not want to forgive him/her.  But Your Word says I must forgive him/her or You will not forgive me.  So... because Your Word says that, and I want to do what Your Word says,  I want to forgive ...... for what he/she did to me in the Name of Jesus and set him/her free.  But Lord, You know I am suffering with this.  Please help me to forgive him/her in the Name of Jesus - day by day by day.  Take my hand, help me to forgive and never let go of my hand.  

And again... if any thoughts pop up in your mind, confess, confess, confess.

I know that this can be difficult to do, because there are circumstances that had life altering effects on your whole life.  But... if you start to forgive, you will be set free - little by little!  You will feel a freedom that you have never felt before.  It might come over a time if the trauma you had was severe, but you will just one day realize that you are not thinking of that person or situation so much!  And this only comes through the help of God!

Remember:  all things take time, especially when your emotions were bruised beyond compare.  But in the end it is so worth it!  

When you forgive, that person no longer has a hold on your life!  When you forgive, you also give that hold that they had over your life away.  When you forgive, your sins are forgiven and you are on your way to heaven!  Is this not a wonderful???

May God reveal your unconfessed sins and unforgiveness to you, not to cripple you, but to heal you and to pick you up!!

Blessings!

Babs